Owls and birds of prey everywhere!!

Yesterday I went to the movies to see Rango. It was a good movie, and there as the singing narrators were Mariachi Owls. I had to laugh, clever and fun. Oh, but I get ahead of myself. I blogged about the owl on my Iroquois Art blog, but not here, so perhaps a quick story is in order. You can also hit the hot link and read the post from the other blog.

I have been seeing owls everywhere. I suspect it is my next totem animal. I first wrote the word owl during automatic writing, and it didn't really mean anything to me at the time. I did take note, and to use a word I recently learned from following Aulden's blog called Active Imagination, it had impressiveness! Later the same day I pulled some tarot cards and there on the last card I pulled was an owl! Hmmmm? This was about a week ago by now, and since then I see them everywhere. Even during my funk time this weekend, there were Owl Mariachis, lol. Gotta' love it:)

I am trying to listen to my intuition and I think that is why the Owl may become my next totem. I will wait to see If I am gifted this. Yesterday during meditation however, a different bird showed itself. I saw a man holding a sack (Like burlap) and he opened it and out flew a falcon. What was that? Hmmm? So what do I know about falcon messages? Well at the time absolutely nothing.

Here are some things Avia Venefica has to say about Falcons:

"Falcons encourage us to calculate and strategize. If we have a goal, Falcons beckon us to make plans and strategies to obtain these goals. Falcons are all about focus – strong, one-pointed focus. When they show themselves to us, we are being called to focus on our desires and our goals, and do what is necessary to bring our desires into our reality."

"something in your life that you are highly passionate about, and the Falcon is asking you to take action on this passion. But be smart about it – don’t jump into something without doing research and planning. Make your passion a reality by pursuing it methodically."

It also awakens your visionary power and leads you to you life purpose. It can mean transition and change. It seems a lot of symbols I have noticed on my new path mean transition and change. It really only makes sense.

Now why was the bird in a sack? Was I holding it back? Was it waiting for the right moment to revel itself? It surely had much more impressiveness by being released in that manner. I feel like I was holding it prisoner, I was holding my purpose like a possesion? I think I am ready to learn what my true life's purpose is and to go about it with true diligence. Research, meditation, intelligence and focus will keep me on the right path. I think all the things I find distracting lately can be integrated towards my ultimate goal. I have felt like I was being pulled in a hundred, exciting but, diferent directions. I just have to be smart about it;)

I was so sick today.I woke up and had gas pain and didn't want to get up. I was tired and cold. I finally dragged myself out of bed and I walked into the bathroom and felt like I was going to faint. NOOOOOO! I mean I was all alone! I walked to recliner and sat down, confused and scared. I finally called my sister and told what was going on. She said she would get ready to come over while I called my doctor.

The doctor didn't seem alarmed. I told her I was faint, I was shaking and cold, but I didn't feel feverish. I did have a slight fever however, but it was about 99.9. Pretty high, but still lower then my sisters normal body temp, lol. The doc thought it was a reaction from all the supplements I am taking. So.... I called the nutritionist and we went over all the supplements. We did muscle testing for them and everything seemed fine. he didn't think it was that, but a stomach bug. By the time I saw him I had a splitting headache, I was still cold, and the gas was (and still is) horrendous. I think the scariest part was I had a similar thing going on when I had the bowel obstruction and needed emergency surgery. After all I was told I have a hernia.. again. I was pushing that sucker back in for 2 days.

I don't know what it is, but I do feel better. By the time I got home I was hot, so my fever broke. My headache is real mild, just a tinge at this point. I mean I wouldn't be blogging if it was bad:) I still have the third most awful gas ever. It will not come out. We tried to find some activated charcoal, but one place didn't have it and the other was out. I didn't feel like running around town all day, so I just went home and napped.

Some thoughts.... It could be a stomach bug. It could be food poisoning. Thankfully I was not vomiting and I went to the bathroom tonight, so I am feeling good about it NOT being an obstruction. It could be a cleansing reaction....which is actually good thing, even though it feels bad. I suppose it could still be from my supplements, you never know how your body will react to what you put in it. At any rate. I hope I feel fine tomorrow considering Ro's party is tomorrow.

Here's hoping I feel well soon

Wha?

I noticed this bump on my stomach last week. It really freaked me out. It is where the end of my incision is from my emergancy hernia operation was. Yeah it's awful looking. I can't really bend my neck, since only 2 or 3 vertibre work up there, so I don't bother doing such things. It was really sore though, so I took a mirror and checked it out. Booooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I went to the doctor yesterday and she said it was yet another hernia, not dangerous, but non the less still a hernia. She told me to rub arnica oil and vitamin E on it and masage it back into place. For real? Yeah, for real. If I don't and it gets bigger I will have to get it repaired.... Ugh no, I will massage it.

I did push it back into place last night, but it doesn't stay in for long. I guess I am just going to have to keep on doing it until further notice. Here's hoping it works.

PS it hurts... but it will be worth not having another surgery.

The song I was working on, and my wedding

So I figured out finally to let you all listen to my progress. I had to turn it into a video, so I decided to set it to my wedding pictures. Hope the universe likes it. Just a note, I will get better, at least I plan on it, and the endidng still needs lots of work... Here it goes.....

when is it evident you've bitten off more then you can chew?

Well here I am going a million miles an hour. Really, me. How did this happen? I find myself interested inso many things right now. I don't know what to focus on. Seriously I just need to sit and meditate and find the connetion. I know there is a connection. So my next post will be about my new direction.... or continued direction with better focus and flow.

A calmer me is in order.

today was extreme

Sigh..... I have a lot to talk about today. So, we'll see where and how much I feel like writing about as we go. My day went as such.... I got up, took a shower while oil pulling, plucked, checked my account to make sure I had money in it, ate my protein shake, and took off to the acupuncturist. I was supposed to have "coffee" with Chrissy, but she was having some kind of home crisis and couldn't make it. I called Jill and said I was coming over, since my hubby Matt was watching NCAA tournament all day. Igot home and decided to make some cream of carrot soup first, and as I pulled out my book to write my recipe down as i made it up, I noticed my friend Pat's number was onthe previous page.

I had been thinking of her lately, so I thought I should give her a call. There was no answer soI texted her son. I started the soup and got a text from him while cutting carrots. He said she was in her last moments. I cried. At 1:03 I told him to tell her I loved her and was thinking of her. I finished my soup. It came out fantastic! I got another text. Pat passed peacefully at 1:13pm. I cried again and called my husband and told him. I called my mother and told her. I put my soup away and took off for my sister's. I told her too. We talked about Pat.

My 3 (going to be 4 in 3 days) year old nephew wanted my sister to play video games with him. he is a riot. He told her it was the name of the game, lol. he also called her a genious when she found the gold coin on mario brothers. After my niece came home from school, they had a snack and their mother came to pick them up for a few hours (brother has custody). It was just about time to go see my cousin Austin to teach him how to meditate.

I get to my cousin's house (Austin is still in school) and we talk and what not. She made corn beef and cabbage for St. Patty's day, it'snot on my diet, so that is a bit sucky. I brought my own soup for dinner. Austin gets home and we're talking. We end up talking a lot, lol, as per usual. My Aunt calls my cousin and starts yammering about how I am doing alternatives and she thinks I am wrong. Talk about an uncomfortable situation. But this is my life. I am doing well, I am so happy and I still have to constantly defend my choices. How about everyone who doesn't agree with me, take a look at me and tell me to my face I am wrong. I am getting ahead of myself... So I talk with my cousins about what she said and I don't remember much. I just feel so drained when I have to deal with the doubters. Then we decide it is time to meditate.

Austin and i meditate. I sow him how i do it and we make some journal entries and go for it. I think of Pat and I think of how i have to deal with doubters and I think of my mantras...... I am full of white light .... I am healed..... I am on the right path..... I have only healthy cells.... then, I healed myself, now I should follow the protocol my nutritionist is creating for me, because this will keep me cancer free. Really? This is the thought I am having? Awesome! I am making it so. I see some blue(communication), some purple(spirit). I ask about Austin and get orange, faintly. It went really well. I think Austin got a lot out of it.

Off to home and juice, but not before Hubby wants a shake;)

An up and down day for certain. How it played out seems so organic yet strange. Crissy couldn't go to coffee, so I went home and ended up trying to call Pat. My aunt called while I was actually at my cousin's house? Oh and another cousin's girlfriend posted something about how alternative beliefs are all false when it comes to cancer.

I tried to make an appointment with Dr. Agoliati yeasterday. Instead of just giving me an appointment I was told he is only covering for others and there part time. I said yeah, and i want an appointment with him. I was put on hold and transferred to the nurse, who then proceeded to ask me what was going on. Um.... I am trying to make an appointment with Dr. Agoliati. .... Well he's only part time. UUUUGHHHHH! If I wanted to talk to her I would have asked for her. I know what i want and contemplated long and hard over this. She stressed I should make an appointment with yet another full timer because I need extra monitoring since I refused chemo. I was so frustraited, I had to calm. myself. I did meditate. It is fear which keeps people pushing me to do the accepted form of therapy. I can not control their fear and I am not responsible for their feelings of fear. Did I ever mention I love meditating? Answers, focus and understanding.

Also yesterday my nutritionist said to me..... What i am getting from you is your doctors don't think they can actually help you, they are just waiting for a new breakthrough to come along, Well they had 50 years to figure it out and they haven't yet, so i believe it is time for alternatives. I agree!

I am grateful....
I am grateful I found the right path.
I am grateful the people I love support my decisions.
I am grateful I have the tool of meditation.
I am grateful I found a supportive group of healers.
I am grateful I am loved.
I am grateful I have found joy.
I am grateful I am singing.
I am grateful people like my art.
I am grateful I met wonderful people in a hard time.
I am grateful to have had Pat and Bobbi in my life even though it was just a moment.
I am grateful I am!

Here's hoping Friday is a nice calm (and besides the cornbeef and hash lunch) completely uneventful.

So that song turned out not bad

I was so nervous about getting the song Ain't Misbehavin' right. It turned out better then i thought it would. YAY for me! My vocal teacher loved what I did with it,a nd my new assignment is ..... more. Yeah I have to work on it more this week. Well at least I got the tune down and now i can tweek it. She wants me to eeeeloooonggaaaaate my phrases.

Did I tell you all I love to sing? Well, i do! I can't wait until i do all the things naturally that I have to "think" about while singing right now. The 2 things I need to work on the most are getting enough breath and hitting the higher notes with some power.

Oh I got some great news today. My CA 125 is 12.5. It's still going down! I stopped chemo almost 3 months ago. The nurse practitioner called today and wanted to tell me my vitamin d levels were too low and to ask what was going on with me. I told her I switched my doctor and I was doing great. She's a nice lady.

I want to tell the world to change your diet and beat cancer! It's funny but the doctors tell you to do the chemo therapy and when you stop, they seem to say..... well the patients who do the best are those who make changes in their diets. ?????? Ah, the rules need to change!

Well catch you all later gotta juice:)

Sing me a song Jess

Ah.... I am trying to learn the song Ain't Misbehavin'. I am almost there. I had to give myself a break from it for a while, because more then one nigh this week I fell asleep singing it, and woke up still singing it. Argh... Don't get me wrong, it is a great song,a nd the version I was given to learn is by Carmen McRae, which is fantastic. After saying all that I don't like having songs stuck in my head when it comes to my sleep. I sang it for the first time today while recording it, so i could see how I was doing. Needs work, but some nice moments in there.

Here is a link to it: Ain't Misbehavin' by me and a phot montage Anyhow it needs more work, so i guess it is just as well.

So not only will I have to sing this song tomorrow at my singing lessons, I neen to ask about finding a song in E. I need to work on my solar plexus chakra, which is the note E .... the stone citrine, amber, topaz, tiger's eye or yellow saphire ..... foods bananas, corn,eggs, grapefruit, lemons, marrow, parsnips, pineapples, yams or yellow peppers.

Ok I can't focus, so i guess it is time to stop... for now.

Simply Savory Quinoa

Simply Savory Quinoa

"a savory side dish, tasty yet simple, with carrots, celery, onions and quinoa."


Prep Time: 20 minutes
Cook Time: 30-35 minutes
Servings 3


Ingredients
1/2 c quinoa
1 c vegetable stock (or chicken stock if not vegetarian)
1 stick celery choped small
2 carrots sliced
1 small onion minced
1 clove of garlic minced
1/4 tsp basil
1 tsp tumeric
1 tsp fresh lime juice
salt to taste
2 t olive oil



Directions

1.soak quinoa for 15 minutes unless it is pre washed
2.rinse drain in mesh strainer and set asside
3.While you are soaking the quinoa, cut up the celery, onion, garlic and carrots.
4.saute in the olive oil over medium heat for a few minutes or until onions are clear.
5.add stock tumeric and basil stir
6.add quinoa, stir, and bring to a simmer.
7.cover and simmer on low for 25-30 minutes.
8.fluff and add lime juice and salt to taste


Footnotes
I always cut my veggies really small, more like mincing because I don't like chunky veggies. It is always optional to cut this small. This would probably taste great with rice as well.
.

Today is my mom;s birthday. She is 48.... again, lol. Apparently she thought she was 48 all last year, but my sister pointed out she actually turned 48 today. Ah, so funny. So we went to Red Lobster for dinner and I had my weekly animal protein int he form of trout. Who knew trout was so good? I suppose lots of people did, but I was not one of them.

So I am doing mostly veggies these days, and I make sure I juice (1 1/2 cups) every day. I have been eating a lot of quinoa and almonds and I made a soup, which my nutritionist gave me a loose recipe, and I added all the veggies i had and then some. It's pretty good, but I don't think I can eat it everyday. I am going to try to make a cream of sweet potato soup soon. I'll blog if it is good or not, because I decided to just use my cream of broccoli recipe and substitute accordingly. It could be amazingly good, or it could be amazing for other reasons. Oh, so I am not getting enough protein and I am not ready to add meat on a regular basis, therefore...... I am doing one anomal protein a week and supplimenting with a protein powder. I ordered hemp powder and the nutritionist is bringing green tea protein tomorrow. I will try them both and see how they taste. I will probably just add them to the veggie juice.

I rather enjoy my veggie juice. By looking at it you certainly wouldn't think it is even edible. I have to chuckle, because I made my husband try it last night. I thought he was going to plug his nose and run away, but he tasted it. His comment was weird..... but that is good for him. I like it and I guess that is all that matters. I'm not sure uf i blogged about this recipe before, but I think I will put it down here anyway. I use 2 or 3 carrots, 2 leaves of kale, 1/2 cucumber, 3 to 9 pieces of asparagus (depending on the size), 1 brussel sprout, 1/3 sweet potato(or 1/2 yam), 2 broccoli buds, 2 or 3 cauliflower buds, 1/2 inch peeled ginger root, 1 radish, 4 or 5 cilantro sprigs and 1/2 pear. The pear is just enough sweet to make it taste good to me. I tried apple and I just didn't like it. I have been drinking this for over a month now. All of the people on my health team, from my oncologist to my meditation coach, think I look healthy. My nutritiopnist even said there was "something robust about your(my) vital energy". Is there any cancer left? I don't know... acourding to my last scan taken in January there was.... but now? I feel really good. I finally can say good when people ask how I am doing, and mean it. I really attribute it to juicing and not eating meat or sugar... or gluten.

What else did I do today? Well..... I had a singing lesson. I sang Cry Me a River and it wasn't too bad. I'll try to make a link to it on youtube later. I'm not promising I can figure it out though. The vocal coach gave me a new song to try, Ain't Misbehavin. I really don't know it at all, so i t will be a challenge. She gave me Carmen McRae's version to listen to, which I really do like. We'll see what happens.

Sorry my post had little personality today. I'll try to be looser next time.
I'm going to post a recipe now:)