others with inspirational stories

Here is a website I think anyone who happens upon my blog will find inspirational. It is run buy a caregiver of a cancer survivor, Cameron Von St. James. He has an interesting perspective most people don't think about. Check it out......the Mesothelioma Cancer Alliance Blog

chemo or not to chemo

I read a blog today that was extremely anti chemo. The woman who wrote it said she had stage 1 cancer and she eventually healed herself with alternatives. This is all well and good, but she also said her doctors wanted to do chemo after surgery and she said no. I was confused why they would want to do chemo after getting everything with surgery with a stage 1 cancer diagnosis? It brought to mind a time I joined a support group. I tried to respond to her blog and it wouldn't post. Here is the response i wrote:

I once joined a cancer support website, and it was very supportive of the people who wrote, this is true. A girl had asked about alternative to help her relative and the moderators berated her and were very negative. I read the threads over a couple of days and the responses and the girl was so hurt she got such an awful response, I had to respond. They went on and on how the site was to support chemo patients and they, they are the brave ones, and the people who choose alternatives are taking the easy way out.

I was livid. I wrote to them, asking how choosing alternative was the easy choice? Did they think it was easy to get ridiculed and dissapprovement from your doctors? Did they think it was easy to change your lifestyle, watching your family and friends enjoying food and drink, and there you are with gluten free, sugar free, and water?

I promptly schooled them that alternatives are a scary choice and in no way easy. At every corner people love to remind you there is no proof alternatives work, and if there was a cure, wouldn't we have heard about it by now? i told them I was insulted and would now remove myself from the forum for ever.

They wrote back asking me not to leave, and apologized, saying I had enlightened them. It was a good step in the right direction, but I erased my account anyway. I did write to the girl personally and told her what I did. I also gave her some tips I hope helped in some way.

It is hard to go against the masses and the advice of people who are supposed experts. It is scary when the treatment you choose seems to be getting nowhere. Sometimes the challenge seems too much, when you are tired and people question you and you just don't feel like keeping a stiff upper lip. But know this, whatever you choose you have to know you will heal for it to stick. It's your body and if you look inside you will realize you know best. Don't do a treatment out of fear. Don't be strong armed into a choice that feels wrong.

Chemo was working for me, but I had an allergic reaction. When they said they wanted to do a different agent, I said no. I felt as if the chemo will work, but in the long run, my body would suffer in other ways from it if I didn't stop right away. The doctors and nurses made me feel stupid and wrong, and I was distraught and wavered for weeks. The cancer did get bigger, but I stand by my decision. I know i will figure it out, it is just going to take a lot longer then I want it to. I would never tell anyone who decides to do chemo they are wrong because believing in your choice is so important. When they've made their choice then you tell them chemo is useless and it only works 3% of the time, they are now full of fear. I will always teach others about alternatives and hope they choose that instead. Being scared is normal, but it has no place for a person who will heal from cancer.

So I say to everyone i meet and hear their story; "Look inside yourself, meditate on it. Do you truly believe this is the right choice for you?" If they say emphatically yes, then I tell them, "Then this will work." Belief and connecting to your spirit are stronger tools then most people can even imagine. Chemo can work if you truly believe. I don't believe in it so I made a different choice.

the abyss

I stood at the precipice of the abyss and stared into the ebon darkness
Hello? I queried
are you here for me?
I have been waiting for you
why?

aren't you sad? aren't you lonely? haven't you been wronged?
Yes i suppose I have felt that way
Don't you want to belong? don't you want to be special?
Yes I suppose we all want those things
Isn't the darkness comforting? There is no one here to hurt you

I stared into the void, no color no light.
So beautiful
But, How is this better?
Don't question it, just fall into my blissful nothingness
I will love you forever


I stood at the edge of darkness
How it beckons, full of dark promises
dark, dark promises

I stood at the edge of the abyss and looked away from the void
why won't you look at me
I don't want to be here anymore
I love you, I will hold you
I don't need your love, it is deception

fall into me, you will never have to struggle again
Your sinister promises impede my growth.
The trials along my path are lessons i need to learn
my soul grows stronger with each obstacle
You need me,
you need my comforting darkness,
you need my love
I need me, I need enlightenment, I need my love

I walked away from the edge of the abyss
it voiced only lies and empty promises
I did not fall prey to it's deception
I walked back toward the glowing promise of yet to come
I love myself and my love is full of light


Wyant-Pendleton 6/25/2011

Dear Angels

Dear Angels,

I find my resolve waning and I am tired and confused. Will you please help me be well? My strongest desire and what I ask of you is for me to be healthy, and rid of the cancer and excess fluid in my body. Please help me get rid of the cancer and stop the fluid from accumulating. Please make the fluid accumulation stop now so I can finish my chosen supplement treatment with strength and determination.

Thank you so much for listening. I will remain open and willing to accept the help you give me. I am grateful for what the help you give me.

I love you and myself,
Jessica

Letters to Angels

I recently came across the idea of asking for miracles. I want to ask all the time, and wonder if it is possible. Recently I am really tired and not in the best place. I find myself wanting someone to take me by the hand and say "I know exactly what to do to make you well. I know how to rid your body of cancer forever"

I am going to write a letter to the Angels and ask for my miracle. Just wanted the nex post to make sense to anyone who happens to stumble upon my blog.

loving me

I really love myself!

Believe in me

I am not asking you to believe in what I am doing. As a matter of fact I don't give a shit if you don't believe in what I am doing. I am asking you to believe in me. BELIEVE IN ME! And if you can't do that, then step away from the Jess.