kundalini drums

Just a quick post here.... Tonight while I was getting ready to meditate, I picked my favorite music to meditate to. The first song on the album is.... kundalini drum. Yeah, really. I have been listening to kundalini music and meditating to it for months. That reaffirms my choice to stick with it.

On a side note, my energy is better, but the icky feeling in my abdomen is still there.

On a positive side note, I have committed to my healing. All my other interests can
coexist, as long as my healing comes first. I have decided tomato soup and sauce will now be part of my healing foods. They have lycopene (cooked tomatoes) and quercetin (tomato skin and onions), which are major canser fighters.

My personal power grows stronger every day. I am full of love and light.

Bananas can cure cancer?

I have been obsessed about bananas in my fight against cancer. They just keep coming up. When I was doing the FOCC (flaxseed oilo, cottage cheese).. before I realized i was allergic to milk... I would add a banana and some stevia, and I just loved it. When I was doing some automatic writing and meditating, the word banana kept popping into my head. What is it about bananas.

I went to the nutritionist and he didn't want me to eat bananas because they have too much sugar content. I agree with staying away from sugar, but bananas... why... must....eat....bananas!!!! I stayed away from them, I didn't feel as well.

I ate 1/2 a banana tonight that was not on the green side. it was not brown either, just a perfectly tasty banana. I have to admit I have been cutting up greenish bananas, freezing them and adding 1/2 to my protein shakes. I figure green ones don't have a lot of sugar, and although you can taste the difference raw, added to a shake gives it just the right banana flavor. It got me thinking, well why don't I look to see if people think it fights cancer?

Well let me tell you.... ripe bananas make something called TNF which is shown to fight cancer cells. What? really? Whoo hoo, I knew it!!!!! Let's get a little more scientific. TNF, tumor necrosis factor, helps regulate immune cells, increasing white cells, and inducing apoptosis. That basically means the abnormal cells will commit cell suicide. So ripe (brown spotted) bananas cause cancer cells to self destruct!

This is such an amazing discovery for me, I had to blog about it. Now... how do I convince my nutritionist I need to add ripe bananas to my diet? Hmmmm...... how indeed?

and ugh... grrrrr

I got up to go to the doctors today and just before I left, I took one last look at that festering hernia thing going on on my belly. Yeah, not a pretty picture. I woke up around 8 and it looked a little better, so I put more arnica/oil of oregano/bactracin on it. i covered it up an went back to bed for a couple hours. Well when I finally took a look at it (around noon) it was all bloody. YIPES!!!! I cleaned it off and the skin came off and there was a small hole. Now i am freaking out. I tore a** to the doctors, crazy thoughts running through my head.

Well the doctor cleaned it and put a dressing on it. She said it looks like it is healing, and it looks like a little fistula. She said leave it covered for a week and come back. In the mean time i am now on antibiotics. I would rather not take such things, but I do want it to heal. There is some blood in and the cover is clear plastic bandage, so I can see it, and I don't want to. I mean how much oozing is too much? Anyway it doesn't hurt as much as yesterday, but a bleeding hole certainly is alarming. Clot dang it, clot!!!!

Cathy said to me Sunday... I feel like something is working its way through. The Dr. said.... it may be something working its way out, like a surgical stitch. At first i didn't think it was possible, because i had staples, but I just realized, they had to sew my intestines together with something. So.. yeah it is possible it is a surgical stitch.

On a different note, i am still sore from yesterday, but no worse. Maybe the kundalini yoga helped work things out? I will wait until next week to try it again though, give my body a little time to heal. I still plan on going to the Ra Ma Da Sa on Friday night.

I am so done with the medical issues...

I am a river... letting it flow.

kundalini yoga

I hurt all over. Don't get me wrong, it isn't meant to be strenuous like other yogas, but I am sooooo not in shape. Oh, what is it I a m talking about? Kundalini yoga of course. But I get ahead of myself, let me tell you how I came to find this.

I have been in a funk lately. I had that illness a couple Fridays ago, and never really recovered. I have this icky feeling in my abdomen, which is eerily like the fluid from the canser. Well me freaking out is putting it lightly. It feels eh right now. Is it fluid? I don't know, I do have a oncology appointment Monday.

I meditated, and I believe regular exercise is one of the key elements i am missing. I went for a walk with my hubby and he went longer so I came back to the apartment. In the same building I live in, there is a chiropractor office. I have been meaning to check it out, because it is definitely interesting looking. It's called Metta by the way. I took note of the name and went upstairs to research it. The man who runs it is also a yoga instructor, and does meditation. Well you all know I am all about meditation these days, so i decided to check out his class Monday night. It was very different for me, a group, and chanting, and a little yoga, all things very alien to me. I got to talk to him(Paul) and he told me about what the sanctuary was really about was Kundalini yoga, and convinced me to give it a go. Here is a link to their site:

I went in not feeling well. I got dizzy at singing lessons today, and although I have felt a little dizzy before, this is the first time I really felt I had to take a break and sit. I still felt off when it was time to go the class, and when I took my place on the floor, I was feeling icky. I honestly didn't think I would be able to do much. It started and I tookit really easy. The other participants were really going for it. The breathing exercises were intense. the session turned out to be about releasing stress and fear. It was a lot of focus on breathing... exactly what i needed. All of the poses and exercises were hard for me, but I did what I could, which was way more then I thougt i could. Somewhere I really connected with the breath... FINALLY. It was great and i cried, of course, lol. I actually cried several times, and if i let it, i could of balled, but I tried to keep my composure. I do want to go back. Friday they are having a Ra Ma Da Sa meditation and it is specifically for healing. I definitely want to go to that one. I am so sore though, and i am a bit concerned how I am going to feel in the morning. No pain no gain right?

Well here's hoping I feel like supergirl in the morning;)

much better, but still funky

Well it's been a long haul, and I felt better everyday, but it still feels a little funky. Today is the first day I feel like the gas is pretty much gone, but I still have achyness in my guts. Hmmm.... I really don't know what it is, but I suspect it is just tired and sore from all the rigmarole. I do have an oncologist appointment in 2 weeks from today. I am hoping to feel fantastic that day!

I am not going to worry about it right now. I am going to give it a couple days with no gas and see how I feel.

On a brighter note I was gifted the owl as my next totem. After learning about all these animals and what the symbolism is for them, i think I really want to write some children's stories about them. I did write the story about turtle and bear, but I never considered adding animal totem characteristics in the story. Perhaps that is the way to go. I will do a little brainstorming and see what I come up with.