Saturday, February 26, 2011

my new oncologist makes me happy

I simply love Dr. Agoliati. He is the final piece of my new team. I wanted to go to him last March, when I first talked to him, he talked about water bottles and synthetic hormones, being alkaline, and vegetarian, no sugar.... all the things i totally believe in. I wanted to talk to him, and asked if I could. It was frowned upon, and never happened. When I finally decided I needed a change, not just in my choice of therapy, but in my medical team, I called and made an appointment with him.

I wish I had the nerve to change a year ago. What a difference. He is personable, talkative, interested in you as a person. He is open minded. He knew I wanted to do alternatives, and he talked about my diet and exercise. He told me to eat poison ivy when it first starts to come up. LOL, you know what, I just might do it. Let's see, what did he suggest..... eat vegetables, stay alkaline, only natural things. If it isn't from the earth stay away. No processed foods, no sugar, exercise in the cold. Eat root vegetables. He showed me a stretching exercise and told me i looked good. I have to go back..... wait for it..... wait for it.... 2 MONTHS.... whoo hoo!!

Ah so I started my candida purge today. The diet itself is not much different from the diet I have been eating. I added all kinds of supplements. I now take 2 gazillion pills instead of 1 gazillion. I am not supposed to eat the cottage cheese anymore, and I was so confused about what to eat for breakfast. I ended up making broccoli soup. It's not so much a breakfast thing, so i made some quinoa tonight so I can have hot creamy quinoa tomorrow. Here's hoping I like it!

even in times of renewal, i am reminded

As I recuperate from the chemo I had and find my way toward a natural healing, I am reminded of why I stopped doing chemo. This week my father-in-law was admitted in to the hospital. He has an irregular heartbeat and he needs to get it stopped and restarted. His doctor thinks the chemo he had 3 years ago probably caused heart damage. I hope and believe he will be ok, but this makes me so sad. Damage from chemo is one of the major reasons I decided to stop. I have had so much more then he has and it is scary.

When I first had chemo I didn't know there was an option not to do it. I certainly was scared and would have probably done the chemo anyway back then, but I wish I knew I had options. When the cancer came back, I begged my gyno oncol to let me try diet and supplements. He agreed to 2 months, but the fluid in my abdomen was making me soooooo sick. i was tired... exhausted really. I was weak and my heart was racing and my blood pressure was high. My muscles were weak. I could barely make it up the stairs. When i got home I plopped on the couch and sat there... forever ... trying to gather my energy. The fluid came fast... I had to get a paracentisis after just 6 days just before I started the chemo. I have no idea how many I had all along. 10 maybe? Can you imagine getting a 8 inch needle stuck into you and having fluid drained out... i had as much as 4.4 liters drained in one session. It was not fun. It wasn't the worst thing in the world, but still not fun. Anyway the fluid was coming to fast to stick to my guns and let juicing and raw foods get me healthy. I relented.

When my veins were shot and the nurses kept asking me to get a port, I said no. When they kept right on pushing I wanted to say... screw this chemo shit, I am done... but I kept going. When the six months of taxol was done, I was ready for them to say it was gone, but I was still getting fluid and I knew it was not. They said they wanted to add carboplatin and I wanted to just stop, but I said lets get this over with. Then I developed a hernia and got super sick from a intestinal blockage(from the hernia). I was puking brownish green stuff.... bile, and they admitted me to the hospital. I ended up getting emergency surgery when I spiked a fever because my intestine gangrened. So that gave me a bout 3 or 4 weeks off of chemo. I restarted and the nurses asked again if I would get a port... NO... Then one week I had an allergic reaction to the carbo. At his point I am thinking that's it. No more chemo.

This is where the I feel it was obvious I should stop. I had the allergic reaction and my doctor wanted to re challenge me the next week. I was so nervous. I was told a long time ago if you have an allergic reaction to medication.. or anything really... the next time could be much worse. Worse? yikes! When I went back in, a different doctor was covering, and he wouldn't give me the chemo. He said it was too dangerous. So he ordered a PET scan and said come back in 2 weeks. Well I decided then I would start a vegetarian diet and start juicing. I went back and the PET scan showed I still had activity so my doctor wanted to start me on something else, but he wanted to confer with my gyno oncologist. He called him and he was out of town. Ok so no chemo that week. I went in the next week assuming no chemo that week , because the nurse hadn't gotten the ok for the new drugs, and I was right my gyno oncol never called back... so unprofessional. So... no chemo that week. The doc calls the G O again and he is in surgery and he talks to an associate. They decide to give me cisplatin. I don't want cisplatin. I go in and talk to my friend Lisa and the man next to me has a stroke or aneurysm and 20 minutes later, they take him away but he has no pulse and not breathing. Yeah I didn't want chemo anymore. I just needed to get away from that place.I think it was pretty obvious the universe was warning me away from there. So by now it's been 5 weeks or so. I feel pretty good, my hair is growing back and I want to stop. I need a break mentally.

I go in the next week, and I have decided I am not getting this new chemo drug, so i don't take the steroids the night before. I am sooooooo nervous about telling the doctor this. He does his exam and says let's get started, and I say " I don't want to do the chemo." I don't even like remembering this It was awful. He gave me a 20 minute talking to about why I had to do it and alternative therapies are "bunk"... his word. He tells me his goal for people like me is to keep us alive with the best possible quality of life until a new drug comes along. Yuck I don't like this at all! Then he says to me... "This, right now, is the best you will ever feel." Yuck, I don't like this... and I think "you suck"... I DO NOT agree with that. I promise him I will come back in 2 weeks... just to get the hell out of there. As i am walking out the nurse stops me and asked me to get a port. I said NO, and walked away. She says after me, just think about it. PSHT... how about no.

The stress of telling the doctors what I wanted, of trying to find a new way, to find the courage to make it my final decision was unbearable, and I wrote about it in my earlier posts. When I walked out of the doctors office yesterday, I was ECSTATIC, ELATED, RELIEVED. I finally found the doctor for me. I wish I went to him from the beginning. When I had the allergic reaction, my ca 125 was 37, when I went back and told the doctor I wasn't doing chemo, he did the test again, it was 19.1 ...... YAY for me.

I love my new hematology oncologist, and I am going to blog that in the next post.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

And the nutritionist says...

Hey there cyberbuddies. Today I went to acupuncture, then to see a nutritionist. I have to say, my new team of healers is AMAZZZING. I am so excited about the path I am on, that I am not all that snickledoozled about seeing the oncologist tomorrow. Well, I have a plan of action, and getting check ups from the oncol is all I have planned for them as of right now. I have the name of a new person in my handy dandy notebook and it's calling to me....

So..... what happened today? With Monica, my accupuncturist, I had a good session. The crazy thing was when she put the needle in my ear it made me soooo dizzy. That one just had to go:) I tried to "meditate" while on the table. I didn't quite get there, except for a short while in the middle. I heard someone tauntingly saying "Fence".... like it was a name, and Fe....eeahence, .. Yay, I am so glad i am doing this. She is wonderful and not worried about the money, so i don't have to worry about it either.

Then there was the nutritionist....... Quirky, different, interesting, and I suspect he may be a genious. The only punchy part is he is pricey, although I guess he is not as pricey as others. That being said I feel a hugh change is a comin'. We talked about candida. He feels I am full of it, and it needs to go. He did some allergy tests, so strange, and turns out I am allergic to milk, yeast and wheat, but not corn and potato. So I may have to stop the FOCC, which I love... waaaaah! My next appointment is Thursday, but he called this evening and decided I can't wait and should start the cadida clense now. I meet with him tomorrow and he is going to give me some papers and supplements. Oh we also talked about liver functions and doing a liver cleanse, and said he wants me to lose weight. I will find out more tomorrow.

OK so gotta go. I thinkI wan to meditate for 15 or 20 then hit the hay as they say.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

singing like I mean it

Well look at me (or should I say listen to me)! I started taking singing lessons a couple weeks ago, and I actually am making progress. I have some problems here and there with the exercises, especially that one where you say all the vowels in after the mmmm sound. It's all complicated to me, lol. Mamamamamamememememimimimi, yeah I am not good at it... yet. Oh man I don't know what I am going to do when she adds o and u... I'm sunk. I am having trouble taking a deep enough breath as it is.

I picked Cry me a River as a song to practice, and it actually sounds good. i am not saying awesome at this point, but it's getting there. I am supposed to practice changing it up. It's a bit difficult. My first attempt sounded like a cat in heat... lol. Anyway it is exciting. i really like it.

I just realized i may have a gyno oncol appointment next Tuesday, and that would be very inconvinent. I would not only like to cancel that appointment, I would like to find a new gyno oncol. Bah, it always wants to rain on my parade. Soo............................. I will work it out.

I made an appointment with the nutritionist Thursday. It is super expensive, and I hope insurance will cover some of it, but it is an investment ...... in me:)

And.... I made Simply Savory Quinoa for dinner..... yummmmm! Here is my recipe: http://allrecipes.com/PersonalRecipe/62631139/simple-savory-quinoa/Detail.aspx
Try it, it is so fabu!

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Chocolate Banana Almond milk Milkshake!!!

I just made the most amazingly delicious concoction ever..... A chocolate milkshake made out of banana, raw cocoa powder and almond milk. I barely believe this is good for me but it is. It is really simple to make too. I posted it on allrecipes and submitted it so others can try it and rate it.



http://allrecipes.com/PersonalRecipe/62657228/Chocolate-Banana-Almond-milk-Milkshake/Detail.aspx



What makes it so healthy? The ingredents are all natural, raw and just plain healthy.

*Bananas... pretty good for you, if you eat them in the green side they are alkaline and not at all too sugary.

*Almond milk.... yummy, no hormones, completely non dairy

*Raw cocoa powder.... has more antioxidents then green tea, completely alkaline.... but seriously bitter on its own

*Stevia.... natural sweetener which is low glycemic and you can now buy it at the grocery store... I like Truvia brand

So far the best tasting thing I have made completely on my diet. Now I need more almond milk, lol.


I will add a picture the next time I make it. It won't look any different than any other chocolate shake, but it deserves a picture itis that good.

February 19, 2011

Tonight I made quinoa and cumin, with peppers, garlic, onions. It was pretty good, but sweet. I like savory not sweet, so I am not sure if I will make it again. Matt liked it, but I like my simple savory quinoa instead. That has carrots, celery and turmeric mixed with the quinoa. Anyway I will tinker a bit. I also made myself guacamole, but I think I will leave out the lime next time. Don't care for it.



Last night Matt's cd player wouldn't work. Sigh..... I was really upset. I mean I was the last one who used it, so perhaps I broke it. I tried everything besides taking it apart, since that never goes well for me, lol. Like the way I "fixed" the dvd player, so now it only plays Teen Witch, FOREVER:) I really needed to meditate after that.



Let me tall you about meditation.... It's awesome. I love it. Even if nothing happens, I am so relaxed after I am done. I do feel closer to the universe, that may seem silly, but it is true. Earlier in the week I felt like the universe was giving me a big loving hug. Yeah, sounds nuts, even to me, but that doesn't mean it didn't happen. Sometimes it takes me way to long to get to that place. The thoughts swarming around my brain are hard to keep quiet. Right now it always comes back to doctors. Who? What do I say? what will they say? how do I tell them? where should I go? should I stay with this one ore that one? should I find someone else..... blah blah blah. I am seriously tired of it. All that being said........ when I finally gett there it is fantastic. Who knows what I might see. Most of the time it is just a dark peacefulness of nothing. If I remember I can ask for the things I need or want. Sometimes I have "visions". I think I go to the place right before you fall asleep, where you see things but if you realize it you break the trance and come out of it.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

what a prickly day

Well today I went to an acupuncturist. She reminded me she can not tell me what to do with my treatments, and can't say this will cure cancer. Right, so I signed a bunch of waivers and proceeded to get stuck with a bunch of needles. They are so thin, and just go in enough to stay. Pretty easy, the only one that bothered me was the one on the outside of my hand. It even bled when the needle came out. While it had some pain that came and went, it was fine and I could even relax just fine. Of course as soon as she left the room, my nostral itched. I stayed in a dimly lit room and was told to relax and be still for 20 minutes. It went slow at first, but the last half went quick, once I finally felt completely relaxed. I even had "visions". I suppose I was falling asleep, and i saw a windy road. I followed the roadlike I was flying, zip zip zipping along. I go back next Thursday. Eventually she will talk about suppliments (I believe Chinese herbs).

I need..... Ok so my mom called, and I have no idea what I need... lol. Hmmmmm......

Anyway the cure is in nature,a nd my diet and suppliments will keep me going for a long time. All these alternative things, like accupuncture is for getting my body to the best place it can be, so it ready to be healthy.

Well I may blog later, but for now I need to go. TTFN.

Monday, February 14, 2011

my search for a support group

Well, I decided I will stop getting chemotherapy. I am hoping and praying I will never need it again. I will be well and rid myself of cancer with my diet and suppliments. And.... I am willing to try anything which does not include coffee enemas. Ok, I suppose if iut really came down to it,a nd tons of people were saying "coffee enemas cured my cancer" I would do it. Let's hope it never comes to that. BRAAHHHHGGGH! (this is me shuddering). I am not knocking the enemas, i am just not ready for that. I'll cross that bridge if i need to.

So where am I now? I have a bunch of calls out. I called the naturopath in Kingston. I wasn't too encouraged because she didn't write me back, so i called her and she went on about being a compliment to chemo. Agh!! I don't want to talk about chemo. Then I e mailed an acupuncturist, and she went on about..... you guessed it, compliment to chemo. BLAH!!!! Then I e mailed a Chinese acupuncture and herbalist in Kingston, but she didn't write back. This is the one i want to go to most of course. I also have the number of Pastor Dave, who i think is a healer, but not sure about that one, it looks uber religeous.

Oh, so let me tell you how I came to the idea of acupuntureist, well besides the fact people have told me to go there, lol. So, I have been wondering what kind of places I should go to for my healing. I was really lost, confused, unsure... you get the picture. I decided to meditate on it. While I was meditating i asked what kind of healer I should seak out (medical doctor, shaman, reiki master etc.), I was completely open to whatever came through. I didn't get much, but what I got early on were flowers.... after I asked directly I got worms and bees. What? I didn't know what this meant to me....... wait, coupled witht he flowers....... GARDEN! That could mean a couple things. the most obvious and what ties in directly with what I am already doing is food.

Yes, ok, I am doing a mostly raw, vegitarian diet. I do eat the cottage cheese/ flaxseed oil mix (Budwig diet) or FOCC in the morning, but other then that, almonds and veggies. I juice the veggies. Right now I drink 1 1/2 cups of juice a day. I may increase that soon. 1/2 a cucumber, 3 carrots, 3 large spears of asparagus, 1/2 pear, 1/3 or 1/4 sweet potato, sprig of cilantro, 3 broccoli flourets, 3 radishes, and occasional 1/2 a beet (but they are messy). It's pretty tasty! No, seriously, it really is tasty.

So.... senario 2... in the computer age, you do a search. Yeah that's right I googled it. I typed in garden, healing, and the town I live in and.... BAM!, my chiropractor's building came up, and a pet place, and acupuncturist in my area. The acupuncturist is in the building with my chiropractor. Hmm. And that my friends is why I e mailed the acupuncturist.

What else? Hmm. I bought a rebounder and need to set it up. Yeah I should do that tonight.

So I added my playlist to this blog, so enjoy.
Gotta go!